


Contritum

by covalentbonds



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: BAMF Tony Stark, Hurt Tony Stark, M/M, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark-centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2019-03-05 20:32:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13395699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/covalentbonds/pseuds/covalentbonds
Summary: 'My faith's in people, I guess, so I can't let them down.'The letter says.There sits a broken piece of bad code, metal residue in chest and hollow eyes and sometimes people call him Tony.And Tony thinks.'Maybe I aren't a person.'





	Contritum

'My faith's in people, I guess, so I can't let them down.' 

There sits a broken piece of bad code, metal residue in chest and hollow eyes and sometimes people call him Tony.

And Tony thinks.

'Maybe I aren't a person, because he had no trouble letting me down, lying to me and abandoning me in a dead bunker in the middle of nowhere.'

And he thinks.

'I followed him, I went to help him and I left my my bestfriend who has been with me for thirty long years to help his.'

And he thinks.

'My father loved that man more than his wife, and his child. And that man repaid his love and honour by lying to his son.'

And he thinks.

'Those hands, they crushed my mother's windpipe and let her die a slow death right after seeing her husband's broken face'

And he thinks. 'That man ripped my heart out.' 'His friend (never mine) slammed his SHIELD over it.'

And he thinks and thinks and thinks. And he sometimes wonders if deserves all of it.

* * *

The accords are a disaster. Tony knows that.

The accords are a miracle. Tony, also knows that.

The accords are a disaster because they are unrefined, and inefficient. They're a miracle because he just knows that somewhere in some alternate reality, superheroes are treated way, way worse than this.

We've destroyed more than we have saved. Or, he corrects himself, I have destroyed more than I have saved and that will be my legacy.

Tony Stark, a guy pretending to be a hero.

* * *

 A kid will explain it to you like this: Cops fight bad guys, they work under a structure and they report back so their power isn't let loose.

Superheroes fight supervillains, and who do they report to? A normal man also risks his life and so does a super. What gives the supers the right to do as they please?

He thinks Captain America will look this kid in the eyes and say 'No, you move.' A quote borrowed from a woman he knew far longer than Captain America, used in all the wrong ways.

* * *

Sometimes (before) he had dreams about those hands running over his broken code, metal residue and telling him that people loved him.

_you are loved tony, you are missed tony, let me show you._

But now? Now these dreams take a sudden turn and as soon the hands touch him, they start beating him to the ground, slamming metal over his artificial sternum and driving pieces of plastic into his blood.

* * *

 'You won't live more than two years.' Helen says, carefully looking at his CT scans.

She does not meet his eyes. There is nothing she can do for a body so broken.

He knows that. 'Well, I don't have much to live for, so it's not that much of a hindrance' He says, smiling beautifully.

Helen sobs after he leaves.

* * *

 A man had told him. 'Dont waste your life' Well, he tried.

* * *

The countdown ticks, Two months in, Rhodes has braces that can more or less facilitate efficient movement with no aftershocks.

Three months in, he has dealt with all the damages of the civil war, a laughable term coined by the media.

Seven months in, he has Ross arrested and brought to court. The man will serve 28 years in a maximum security prison for illegal imprisonment, experiments, blackmail, torture.

A year in, Stark Industries is flourishing, the stock is better than it has ever been. The board is happy. The products are affordable and nothing like the world has ever seen.

Tony Stark's first creation was a circuit board, second an engine and third, the first ever sentinent A.I, even if he was a bit of a well, heh, dummy. Where did that give you the idea that he wanted to make weapons?

He was backhanded with a slap that hurt for days when he said he wanted to make robots not weapons at nine.

Howard's ring left an impression that was erased from skin but never from his heart. So did his belt, his words, and his death.

* * *

 'T'Challa.' He says, nodding.

He will not call him your majesty, the young king doesn't nearly deserve that right now.

And if you asked Rhodes, Tony Stark was a king in his own right. All kinds stand equal. 

'Tony'. The young king noddes back.

'Will you make the BARF publically available?' '

Will Wakanda make water filtration systems, cures to cancer, food production strategies, and that nifty little clean energy source you guys have available?'

The discussion ends. He doesn't care, he is going to provide all of that. Even if he has to take his ninth doctorate in biology of all sciences.

* * *

One year, two months in, Pepper cries into his shoulder. They've been friends all the time, never really drifting apart but there existed a certain tension. It's gone now. He has given her, her own armour. Rescue.

* * *

 Pepper Potts is a wonder from the world, he thinks, I never did anything to deserve her.

She cleans the board of all members that sit there for saying no, she rallies so hard for all his new inventions, that Apple offers to make her the CEO, twice. In one month.

She stands at his back and glares.

At everyone.

At everything. It's..nice.

She burns Captain America's letter and tells him to melt his SHIELD.

He contemplates about it. But he can't bring himself to.

* * *

 One year, five months in Vision tells him that Wanda was a mistake. He asks why.

'I think I am more human than she is, and I'm not human.'

* * *

Peter is always around, annoying him, making him laugh, inventing with him. The kid has a good heart on him.

'You know who's my favourite superhero, Dr.Stark?'

He has started calling Tony, Dr.Stark after he saw Jane do it.

'Hmm Captain America?'

'No' He says. 'It's always been you.'

Tony Stark remembers the Stark Expo and that kid he saved. The kid has sure gotten bigger. But still has the same goddamn bravery.

'Really?'

'Yes.' Peter hugs him before he leaves.

* * *

 He never calls that one number on that flip phone. He never wants to need Captain America.

* * *

 One year, and 8 months. A portal opens in New York.

Again. And with it comes everything that Tony Stark said would come.

And he wishes he could say 'I told you so' and just shrug and go back home. He tells Friday to call Steve as he flies out.

* * *

 '... Tony?'

'….The world needs you..'

'Do you?'

'Will you not come for the world?'

'I don't owe the world anything, I owe you everything.' 

'…I do.'

'I'll be there.' 

* * *

 

 Thanos comes with one goal: death. It's a good thing Tony hasn't been afraid of it for a long, long time.

* * *

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> Unedited. Written at 3 am due to sudden feels. Tony Stark is the one character in my life that has affected me more than any other.  
> The Steve-Tony part is going to be a little finicky.  
> You'll see. But it's there. I'll even write the smut.  
> If you feel like I deserve it, give some feedback :')


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